Agradezco a Lissette Baez Martinez por este tremendo aporte tan importante y profundo. Trataremos de colocarlo en español mas adelante, "bli neder".
WAS JACOB GUILTY OF DECEIVING HIS FATHER?
Rabbi Shmuley's Weekly Parsha Class
An Unedited Transcript, Adapted by Daniel Abraham
In Memory of Machla Dabakarov, the mother of Rabbi Shmuley's Close friend, who Recently Passed Away
In this week's Parsha of Toldos, we are given an introduction to Isaac and Rebecca's married life beginning at Genesis 25:19. We are told that after years of being unable to have children, Rebecca is finally able to conceive. However, the twin boys she is carrying seem to be quarrelling within her very womb. This greatly disturbs her. Our Jewish sages explain that when she would pass by a house of idolatry, she would feel kicking and agitation, as though the child inside her was trying to get out. When she would pass by a house devoted to G-d, the same thing would occur. The passage goes on to say that because of these strange pains of pregnancy, Rebecca went out to seek the word of God on this matter. Now what exactly concerned her so much about all of this? The answer is that Rebecca, unaware that she was carrying twins, feared that she was going to have a child who had no true values or identity. Rather, she suspected that her baby would grow into a man who would be willing to compromise everything he was in order to accommodate whatever environment he found himself in. She thought he was going to be something akin to a modern-day PR guru. Someone who can take any character defect and spin it into a virtue. He is a man with no allegiance to anyone or anything. This personality type also ends up living like a chameleon. He can be whoever he needs to be to suit the moment. When he is around Christians, he praises Jesus, when he is around Mormons he speaks of Joseph Smith. At a convention for gay rights he supports gay marriage. In front of others he says marriage is only between a man and a woman. He is a man with no backbone and no values. He is the ultimate politician. And it is this quality that causes so many people in our country today to distrust those running for political office.
Rebecca had a very keen insight into this aspect of human nature. She understood that it would be better if her son had some core value system he was true to, even if it was something as morally repugnant as idolatry. She realized that individuals who possess the inner conviction to be true to their beliefs, can at some point be brought back to the path of righteousness. But a person who has no loyalties to any principles or ideologies, can rarely be influenced to live a life singularly devoted to the will of God. This same idea is succinctly expressed in Elijah's exhortation to the Israelites of his day. Most of the Israelites at that time had no fidelity to any one deity. They worshipped the G-d of the Torah, while simultaneously worshipping the gods of the ancient Canaanites, one of which was the deity known as Baal. Elijah pleaded with the people, "How long will you waver between two opinions? If the Lord is God, then follow him, but if Baal is god then follow him!" Elijah understood that men of convictions can be reasoned with, but men with no allegiances can never be relied upon. In fact, one of Judaism's criticisms of the New Testament is Paul's proud declaration of his method of proselytizing for Christianity. "Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law, so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak." Paul's professed commitment to feign various lifestyles is seen in Jewish thought as a fault rather than a virtue. Men who mislead about or compromise their true beliefs, even for what they perceive as a noble purpose, will never be completely trusted to speak the truth or act on it.
This character trait of abandoning ones values is one of the biggest challenges our youth are facing today. In order to be accepted into a group of friends, it is so common for children to cave in to whatever cultural fad or lifestyle is popular at the time. In my book 10 Conversations You Need to Have with Your Children, I write about the phenomenon of youth swimming with the tide of peer pressure, abandoning their morals for social acceptance. The only sure way to combat this is if parents take the responsibility to instill in their kids an inner identity and give them the strength to stand up for what they know is right. Parents themselves must also constantly work on their own values to ensure that they are setting an example for their children in this regard. One of my goals as a rabbi at Oxford University was to help facilitate the beautiful experiences of Jewish traditions by the many nonobservant students attending there. At the same time, I also worked to ensure that those who came to Oxford living a Jewish way of life would continue down that path.
What I have found is that when we do not stand up for our values, and when we refrain from offering an opinion because of what others might think, we risk becoming very boring people. And not only that, but by fearing to express what we truly believe in, evil has an opening to take root. Each one of us is given a unique gift to contribute to the lives of others. When we erase that gift in order to be accepted, we become very bland individuals, and we limit the positive impact that we are meant to have on our surroundings. And it is because of this reality that we can now understand Rebecca's relief when learning that there were two separate individuals in her womb. She knew they would be inclined to have very diametrically opposing viewpoints. But she was happy knowing that they would have the courage to stand for something, and they would live in accordance with their convictions. This gave her hope that one day they could both become moral, upstanding men in the eyes of God.
However, it is seemingly ironic that after fearing that she would give birth to a spineless, morally ambivalent child, Rebecca would at a later time encourage her son Jacob to pretend to be someone who he is not. This occurred in regards to the events surrounding Isaac's blessing of the first born, as described in Genesis, chapter 27. Rebecca hears Isaac instruct their elder son Esau to catch an animal and prepare him a delicious meal. Isaac would then eat, be in a state of joy, and give Esau the blessing of the first born. Rebecca knows that Isaac's eyesight has grown weak with age, and she commands Jacob to impersonate his older twin brother in order to receive this great blessing Isaac has prepared. This event in the Bible has unfortunately been used historically to promote a rabid anti-Semitic stereotype. Christianity pointed to this event in the bible as the paradigm of what they believed was the conniving, deceptive Jew. They judged and denounced Jacob for tricking his old father into giving him something that he did not deserve. Surprisingly, this condemnation of Jacob's actions comes from no less of an authority than Rabbi Harold Kushner, who is a dear friend of mine and a great man. In Rabbi Kushner's book Living a Life that Matters, he severely criticizes Jacob's actions during these events. He accuses Jacob of engaging in trickery and deceit for his own personal gain. He writes that later on in life Jacob matures and realizes the folly of his past actions. Rabbi Kushner even claims that eventually Jacob is paid back for his treacherous actions, when his own sons deceive him about Joseph's death.
I have to strongly disagree with Rabbi Kushner's interpretation. I believe there is something much deeper going on in this story. The Torah states plainly that Isaac loved Esau, while Rebecca loved Jacob. However we read that Esau was a hunter and man of the field, and that the wicked women he married embittered his parents' lives. Isaac and Rebecca knew that there was something wrong with the behavior of their son. The proper education and parenting style needed to raise Esau as an upright, God fearing individual, no doubt led to numerous disagreements and general discord in the home. Rebecca tried to have Isaac understand that his lenient, passive approach was not working, and that their son was becoming a violent man and a bully. But Isaac could be convinced of this fact. There is a term in Psychology known as Cognitive Dissonance, whereby a person can experience pain and discomfort when holding two conflicting ideas. Many times in this situation, a person's mind chooses to deny reality in an effort to evade these negative feelings. Isaac's attitude towards Esau exemplified this psychological phenomenon. He was blinded by his love for his son, and could not bring himself to see the truth about him. He rationalized that Esau was really a good person at heart, and that at some point he would grow out of his bad traits. As parents, we ourselves many times experience this. We become upset at a teacher who tells us our child has been acting up. We might ignore glaring warning signs in our children's everyday behavior. This denial of reality provides a temporary relief to the woes of parenting, but can have unforeseen repercussions in our children's adult lives.
However even in dire circumstances, there is hope that a youth can be set on the proper path. When Rebecca sees the final opportunity of correcting that which had gone so wrong with her son, she knows what she has to do. She does not intend to beguile her husband when she dresses up Jacob as Esau. She only hopes to open his eyes to the truth. Rebecca's plan succeeds, and Jacob does receive the firstborn blessing. He quickly leaves from before his father, and Esau soon afterwards enters the room. When Isaac discovers the ruse, he trembles with a great fear. At this moment Isaac is in shock as to what he has discovered. He understands that if the divine presence rested on him specifically to bless Jacob, then Jacob was his rightful spiritual heir all along. At the same time, Isaac realizes that if he was so easily fooled by Jacob, then maybe he had been fooled about Esau as well. At the height of Esau's despair, he even confesses that he ignobly sold his birthright to his brother Jacob. Isaac has finally discovered the truth that Rebecca so desperately tried to convey to him all these years.
It is this painful moment of realization that we as parents sometimes may experience when it dawns on us that our children have developed bad habits and character traits. It is even more painful when our children have learned these qualities from our own behavior. We may have used foul language when upset on the phone, only to discover that our children are now saying these same words. We may have gotten angry and yelled at someone, only to find that our own children have learned to fly into a rage when things don't go their way. We may have been untruthful or broken promises in the past, only to see that our children are doing the same. These epiphanies are excruciating, and yet awareness of these truths is the only hope for their rectification.
At the conclusion of this story, we discover Isaac is not angry at Jacob. He realizes that the only person who has really deceived him all along is himself. He sees that Esau has developed truly wicked traits that have become deeply ingrained in his character, and he is not meant to be the future patriarch of God's chosen nation. To dispel any doubt as to Isaac's true sentiments, he calls in Jacob a second time and blesses him again. He thereby acknowledges his past mistakes, and thanks Jacob and Rebecca for helping release him from the grip of denial. Although the past cannot be altered, at least now the destinies of Jacob, Esau, and the future Jewish people showed promise for redemption. May we all learn from the brave actions of our ancestors, who taught us to be true to our morals and values, to be honest with ourselves, and to always be open to the truth for the sake of our children's well-being.
Apoyemos la obra que R. Shmuley está haciendo en América, no sólo es una causa noble de Torah, es Torah práctica, en el ámbito Social, Psicologico, Cultural, Familiar...
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